Independent State of Mind: The Sequel

Ladies, remember that no amount of success made should make you superior or swap roles with your husband and stop you from discharging your role as a mother or a help meet to her spouse.

In our society today, we see a lot of successful ladies still single and I pondered on why this was so and the answer came to me in a dialogue I had with a couple of ladies. Aside from the “not so subtle” reasons of attitude, high taste, class etc that could destroy a relationship, as deduced from the conversation, I realized that the bottom-line is you have to work at your relationship and put your career pursuit on the one hand and the reality of your relationship on the other.

The ladies made it clear that after investing so much time to pursuing their career, they just couldn't muster enough energy to put themselves into a fully functional relationship; their efforts was imbalanced. This persisted until a pseudo arrogance emerged; they just couldn't put up with the whims and demands most often required by a man in a relationship.

There must be a conscious effort put into making a relationship work irrespective of the demands of work; there must be a line drawn between the gruesomeness of work and the reality of a healthy relationship.

Our society frowns at single ladies and sees them as irresponsible. It's not always true but could be if the lady intentionally decides to live not just a single life but a single lifestyle that comes with all the presumably promiscuity and unworldly freedom. You should never see being single as a curse rather see it as a time for personal development before the wedding bells a ringing; yes it would happen. You need to know that whatever you can't manage, God won't give you until you are absolutely ready for the role.  On the preparatory phase, let 1 Peter 3: 3-4 be your guide as it says “Don't let your adornment be merely outward- plaiting the hair, wearing gold or putting on fine apparel rather let it be the hidden person of the heart.” You might have bagged all awards for excellence in your chosen endeavour but without an award of excellence in home building, your achievement is nothing as a woman. What is the essence of beauty without character? Character in its complete form is what kills arrogance and gives room for development.

Your independence is not about lording yourself over your spouse, it is about being successful yet submissive to a man's authority and likewise men should not usurp and abuse that authority over a woman. The woman is a helpmeet not a slave and helping out in menial house chores- once in a very few while- does not make you less of a man rather it makes your spouse feel loved and cared for. We all as human feel good when we have someone you can share your pain and mind with; a woman is definitely not an exception since they are more wired to be more emotional.

So! Ladies! As the spirit of valentine gradually draws near, explore your independent state of mind and do try to put yourself back into that relationship you consider a threat to your career and an unnecessary distraction.

Just saying!

Yours,

Blaquecupid.